A Gold Fish Only Grows as Big as the Bowl Its In

A little back story…. Brent and I married each other a little later in life. It was truly a love worth the journey that led us to one another, but needless to say we weren’t kids. We had two complete house holds that we had to blend and we’ve been doing so for the past five years now. I owned a house in Birmingham, Alabama that I rented for a year after moving to Atlanta before selling. It was a nice little house and because of that I did make a little money off of the sale that I held onto, waiting for the right time to invest it back into our current home.

More back story about me…. I am someone who plans on the worst thing happening at all times. When I was single, I made sure all of my bills were low enough that if I lost my job, I could work at Lowes and still pay my mortgage. When I rented, I made sure my car was paid for because If I lost my job, I could always live in my car. Are you getting the picture here? I am a keep money in savings kinda girl and I do not like to stress about money. For that reason, I hold onto money when I get it. Because WHAT IF something happens.

In the beginning of the year, we decided to build in a large downstairs room for a proper art studio. It would need a LOT of work. It had really good bones, good space, good light and a fireplace. It would make a perfect studio, a luxurious studio even, but I was very nervous about spending the money. We had it from the sale of my old home, but what if we needed that money? What if one of us was injured in an accident, what If I lost my job, what if…. I was just nervous to spend the money. BUT I desperately wanted a larger place to paint with better light. My current studio just wasn’t big enough for large canvases or drips of paint. Also, that downstairs room needed to be used. It was a great space and would add value to our house. It was literally useless the way it was.

Finally, after much deliberation and internal debate, I took the plunge. I decided to do it! Brent was so excited that I finally made the decision and supported me the whole way. Once the plunge was taken, in no time I hired a contractor, and had designed everything. I order a custom piece of art for over the fireplace (priorities). I bought a thousand dollars worth of cabinets and a tiny refrigerator and had the contract ready to sign with the builder and then it happened. What happened? Well, the unforeseen financial crisis that Im always preparing for happened.

Did I will it into existence?

So there I sat with a new focus in crisis mode. Now, the good news, I am actually really good in crisis mode and because I had held onto my little nest egg was able to quickly rearrange money and we came up with a long term plan for the crisis but the studio budget took a hard hit. So did my courage. If I was scared to spend the money before, I was most certainly scared now. So, I didn’t sign the contract and I was really angry that the vision was now gone.

About a week later, my husband encouraged me to go ahead with the studio. He does not live in the world of preparing for the worst to happen. He is more of the mindset that everything will work out. I believe that too… because I have been preparing for every crisis ever ,always! We’re obviously different in this way. But here’s what he said, “Michelle, did you know that a gold fish only grows as big as the bowl it lives in?”. I looked at him puzzled and he continued, “You will not continue to grow in that, tiny poor lit back room. You’ve already outgrown it. If you want to continue to grow, build the studio”. Now he also followed up that sweet sentiment with the logical things that would appeal to my sensibility like increasing the value of the house… etc.

So, with all of that, I reworked the budget for the studio and made cuts in the costs where I could. I talked to the builder and signed the contract. Then I promptly signed up for overtime shifts at work and have been working myself to death as to not dip too much into my nest egg. You didn’t think I was going to totally change did you?

The studio is in process. The day they started I had chest pain pretty much all day from the anxiety. Through this entire process, I have gone back and forth between being excited for what’s to come and thinking Im just being frivolous and stupid with spending the money. I THINK Im getting use to the idea as the time and construction passes. The chest pain does seem to be less. ;).

Ill let you know when it’s finished!

Written 3/2019 not posted until today. Not sure why.